未来?

以后的事，有谁懂？

没有东西是一定的~
谁敢说我以后一定会在IMU毕业？
谁说我以后一定会是个医生？
谁说我以后一定会是呆在马来西亚？
谁说我以后还是会有那么多朋友？
谁说我以后一定是会跟他在一起？
谁说我以后一定会嫁人？
谁说我以后一定....

失败过不代表一直都会失败
成功不代表一直都会成功
失败过如果不去尝试就不可能会成功啊
难道要我怕了，以后都不去尝试？

未来未来...
未来就是个未知数~
我也是要尝试过,才会懂什么东西才是最适合我的...
但我这也不是随便
只是在给自己，给别人一个机会...

我懂，
我真的懂大人们都在顾虑些什么~
别人怎样想，我也管不了...
我是个女生吧~
我知道是我不对
我也希望可以不必一直寻找
可以就有那么一个
付出的，不会白费
又要从新开始...
很开心吗？

其实我也很怕啊...
一次又一次的失败
一次又一次的哭泣
很害怕的leii...

幸亏家人只知道我有那么一个ex~
不然更糟糕leii.... ><
把我关在家不让我出门？
还是抓我去相亲？
你们选一个给我咯~
XD

好啦~
只是突然很烦...
不要烦我leii...
不让人知道就不让人知道咯...
谁叫我那么笨蛋！
从以前笨到现在~
不能变聪明了的啦~~~~~
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！

只能对不起你了~
委屈你啦~
笨蛋王敏俊~
你要回来咯...
但我要去KL咯~~~
一切听天由命吧！
是你的就是你的~
不是你的在怎么抓紧，还是会飞走的leii...
是你的，放手都不会飞走的leii！！
^^

*muacksss!!!*


豆豆越长越多~
谁敢敢说我以后还是会美美的？
只有宝贝表哥咯！！

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！
*hugss*





不烦不烦！！
没有怕的啦~
XD

我很想你们！

宝贝表哥，茹云，煜火军 （找不到你的名）
...
我很想念你们leii....
怎么办~

你们懂吗
每一天 我对着那些照片
一天一天 一张一张 的回忆
虽然
一边看着 一边笑着
但我心里其实很伤心
也不可以说伤心吧
因为 那些都是很美好的回忆
那些都是很开心的日子
...
不过...
我还是很伤心leii...

没想到日子那么快过去
之前的我 还在决定该不该去
现在的我 已经回来了~

把眼睛闭上
“表妹！！...."
仿佛听到表哥的声音~
把眼睛张开
只有电脑...

宝贝表哥，怎么你在电脑的另一边...
谁倒温水给表妹喝
谁弄蜜糖水给表妹喝
...
谁弄盐水给我喝
....
谁怕我会冷到...

还有茹云和阿辉~
把我简直当表妹！
任何事都
“没有怕的啦...”
因为任何事都会解决！
因为我有你们啊！
什么事都不用我做~
....

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊.......
T.T

没想到短短的日子里
我们的感情会如此的好~
让我在机场哭到像个小孩子...
"...我可以哭吗？..."
能叫我不哭吗？
...


十二天 说长不长 说短不短~
足以让我记得一辈子...


我很想念你们啊！！
赶快回来！！
宝贝表妹很可怜leii.......
没有你们照顾是会变瘦瘦的是吗？！
瘦瘦的表妹那里可爱的是吗？！
><




*hugs*
take care always... =)

♥

It's been a month~

><






♥ you~
Always..
U noe I mean it.




*wen^bie*

Back In Malaysia!

430pm..
I am currently in coffee bean alone~

Yea,
I just reached coffee bean~
with my coffee vanilla, ice blended...
I know I shouldnt be here at this time this moment...
since I need to go home at dinner time~
It is quite far from my house...
but...
today...
I need to come here...
I need to get myself sometime
to relax...
to escape?
to make myself feel a little bit more....
myself?... =)

I am fine...
no worries k?

To be frank,
I really feel so depress..
I really feel so sad..
I really feel like....
"when am I goin to emotional breakdown again?"

after back from aus trip...
I feel worry..
I feel down...
Well, of course not when my dear is with me..

The aus trip really like a sort of fairy tales? or haven for me to escape from lots of responsibility and problems..
In aus, I don't need to worry about anything..
ANYTHING!
with lots of fun & lots of cares from my dearest cousinss...

aikss...
Back in reality...
Face the truth~

back in malaysia,
the 1st ever thing I need to do is...
IMU enroll procedure...
money... cert... decision...

Today, I just went to bank & settled the tuition fees...
lots of money...
Cash...
I count the cash, I see the cash...
not a brand new notes..
but old used notes...
I can see how hard my dad earned these money..
I counted , my heart hurt double~

but dis is not why I feel so sad today...
><

Last night...
While I sleeping~
my phone rang...
is dad~
"for sure he drank... for sure I wil be sad soon.."
yea I knew tat when I saw tat he is calling me...
I didnt feel hate..
I jz feel tat he is goin to tell me his prb..
I should be happy bout tat..
because he choose to call me..
he loves me... he trust me..
but why... wat is in his mind...
wont feels tat dis is jz a little bit cruel to me?

yea... he told me his prb...
he told me his feeling...
he appologize to me..
he said he knows...
he knows tat I wish to go oversea..
but he said.. his choice that wana put me by his side all the while...
he wan me to acc him..
he wan me to acc the family..
perhaps, he is ready for the worst to come...
this will be the time that i need to bear the responsibility...
i cant jz go to oversea & leave my family behind..
yea... is true... I accepted tat...

other than this..
he told me...
something...
that wil seriously make me depress...
how could a father..
told his daughter that he feels like dying...
he dont feel happy at all..
he never felt happiness anymore...
he just feel like dying...
he wan to die...
he reali wish to die...
.........................
I really dont noe how to explain wat he told me...
I really dont noe how to respond to his words...
I really dont noe wat should I do...
dis is not the 1st time tat he told me he is not happy at all..
I know.. I really know...
but I cant help...
after hang up the phone~
I cringe in pain..
tears flowing...
until I fell asleep...~

recently, he told me tat he felt heart pain...
so painful so painful that he dont noe wat to do...
I asked him to go for a body check up...
he said he will...
but I dont noe whether he is going onot..
I just called him up~
wanna remind him to go for a medical check up
but he didnt pick up the phone~
...~~~~
will rush him for a medical check up soon~

_________________________________________________________


Dear frens...
I know you might feel tat I very pity...
but dont..
pls..
the purpose I having a blog is to let me feeling out...
so that I can feel a little bit more relax...
but not all keep inside myself~
I seldom blog something happy~
but something sad...
I am sorry yea...
^^

dont come to visit my blog if u feel sad...
haha! i dont wan you to sad for me...
coz I know..
I know my story is always hurtful...
^^

but no scare de laa!!
I can always face these all problems~
I can always get through them with a sweeeet smile =)
k? I promise...

by the way,
babie,
I hope you won't read this blog until u come back from taiwan..
cause I know, I will put you into bad mood...
no matter how my mood goes, i know urs wil follow~
never feel guilty to me k?
I can face all this on my own,
I just nid you to enjoy ur trip to the max..
not worry bout me! ><
plssss.......
*hugs* ><
i miss u a lot! =)
waiting for u to come back yea! ^^

well, to my lovely baobei biaoge, ruyun & john~
thanks for giving me lots of cares & fun during my aus trip k?
I love you all very much!!!!!!!!!!
miss you all a lot a lot~
& those sweeeet dayss....
i will always keep them in my mind~
no scare de la!
we will meet soon~!!! XD
*hugs*

&...
my darnie....
you are always there for me...
thanks a lot!
seriously...
you comfort me...
you listen to me~
even you are in KL all the time~
^^ *hugs*

& peinee!!!!!
miss u a lot nia~~
hahahaha!!
dont cry after you see dis blog leiii!!
silly~~~ ><

I will blog bout my aus trip soon~
I hope I can hav so much time to blog it...
coz it's a lot!!
hahaha!!





TATA!









*hugs* for myself~ =)




no worry to all my babies frens...
I will always love myself...
^^
*muacksxx*

Babie Daniel~

Baobei bie~
I love you...
*hugs*

bie,
I am sorry if I made you sad or jealous k?
I know that you are jealous...
not much though~
but I noe... XD
I noe that you won't really get angry at me~
because I can really feel that you love me a lot.
*silly*
or I am too lovely?! XD hahahaa!!
><


Babie, I love you too!!
just because that you treat me so great, so awesome!
that I feel that I am actually awesome!
I think I never felt that way before~
perhaps they thought that I simply don't deserve their love.
*hugs*

Baobei,
don't you think that I can und you?
or
you think that I can't read your mind? ><
you never told me single thing bout your problem
you never let me worry about you~
I know, I know that you don't want me to worry about you since I got lots more problem waiting for me to solve. right?
but this is not the case~
I can always be there for you whenever you need me
I can always share your problem and face it with you
well, although I might not make things better. ^^
BUT I can always CHEER you up!!! (you know I can) XP
*sayang*

another thing is~
I always love my frens a lot~
you know that, dont you?
thanks for your understanding~
I deeply appreciate it a lot! *muacksxx!!*
but dont worry,
you are important too~ ^^
I know where the border line is~ *wink*



8.00pm
you are currently in Taiwan~
perhaps eating~ XD

What I wanna tell you is~~~~~~
Babie!!
you worry me too much!!!
I am not that weak k? LOL!!
I can always face problem myself~
don't always think that you have the responsibility to help me in everything and be by my side all the time leiii....
although I know that I am lovely & irresistable!! LOL!!!
>< >< >< XDDDD hahahaha!!! *bluek!*

bie, I hope you can enjoy your trip to the max!
just put me aside~ I won't mind la... ><
even if you wana see those pretty leng luiiiii there~
see lor~ *as if you dare~* LOL!!!
dont forget to take phone number from them too!!
ahahahahaha!!! hmph~~~ ><




So~~~ Conclusion!!

Dont worry bie~~~

I won't stop bullying you!! muahahahaha!!! ^^

no scare de laaaa~~~~~ ><











*love*

Hopefully~

Finally,
I decided....

After I confirmed with my decision
I really feel so relax...
I really feel so comfortable
I feel so happy with my decision..

Actually,
I don't really mind which road I going already
The main point is
I can still continue my study
no matter where I end up to be...
I will still back in Malaysia
& I am not working at anywhere else other than Malaysia.
Right? =)

Yea, I decided to continue my medicine
in IMU, taking 5 years local programme..
yea, my dream broken....
to study in university abroad.
yea, I won't have any chance again...
to chase for my dream.
There's full stop behind the both sentences
this means that I really give up on that..
OR I had thought about them clearly
and everything is fine now..
I don't want to think much about it anymore.
=) I am fine, don't worry..

Who knows, that might be a better choice for me?
Who knows, there's something awesome waiting for me?
Right?

Since all my great friends will be in KL~
That will be the FIRST GREAT THING to study in KL!!
Right? XD

No worries, guys...
I am tought enough for all of this...
I can do it BETTER!!
Trust me~
"faith" is what I need from you~ =)

seriously...
I am fine~ ^^
Love you guys a lot...

___________________________

To be honest,
there's always someone
who stay by my side
give me his shoulder & support..
I deeply appreciate it a lot...
You are really too good to me, thanks a lot~
=) <3

The Best of the BEST,
Peinee & Piao...
Both of them really really really too great...
I love them really a lot!!! <3
especially peinee...
she cried together with me...
she deeply sad for me while I was in deep sorrow...
Nevertheless, she will cheer me up soon after I cried~
You are so awesome, my dear...
Seriously...
Without you all, I guess I would really emotionally breakdown like N years ago...
I will never forget about you, k?
This I can always give my words...
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Not to forget,
dear machii...
I know that all of you care me a lot...
seriously...
I still love you all as much as I do~
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

oh oh oh oh!!
Last but not the least
Ms loo!!!
who always take me as her little sis...
you gave me a lot of advise...
you talked to me,
you listened to me patiently..
I really appreciate this a lot...
a lot a lot that I don't know how to thank you..
A million thanks for you.. =)
I am so glad that I met you~ ^^
Keep in touch~
& Happy Birthday!! =)
wish you all the best~

___________________________


Where there's a will,
There's a way...
=)














I am so happy tonight...
because of you~
the awesome bie! ><
thanks for everything~
=)