Sorry...

She is goin back tmr.
while studying, all the scene flashed across my mind, i feel so sad..
i am reali so sad...

During these few days,
I noe.. I noe i've been treating her badly...
I trying so hard to push back my temper on her, I trying to be good to her...
but everytime, when my words hurt her, I can see it in her eyes, only i knew, I am wrong...
I noe i'm wrong.. I noe I shouldnt hav talk so impatiently to her...
& I tried to talk better everytime after i said something harsh to her...
in a way tat hope she can feel better...
but i noe, it wouldnt be better.

I tried to make her feel happy..
At least i am trying...

I cooked her spagethi, in the late night, coz she hav been telling me tat she miss the spagethi tat i cooked..
I brought her out for dinner, coz she had been cooking throughout the days...
I gav her a lil money jz hope tat she can make good use of it...
& of course, she had been using a lot to buy groceries n vege during these few days...
I did all these, perhaps, because I feel so sorry to her...
of being so cruel... such a bad daughter of her...

somebody told me...
watever she had done, I cant change anything...
jz because she is who she is, I must treat her nicely...
jz because she is too lonely...
jz because she nid us....
jz because...
I love her.

no matter how bad she is personally...
she treat me like a tofu, I shouldnt hav treat her like a stone...


I'm wrong...
I'm sorry...

please, wait for me...
I promise i'll giv u a better life...




sorry that I dont hav the gut to tell u
"sorry..." ...

sick?

-History Taking-

Have been sick for 2 weeks...
From the very first day in the clinic kesihatan, I felt the dryness n pain in my throat...
back in lecture, felt so painful until I cant concentrate in class
went to buy lozenges n it really made me feel better..
at night, fever... took paracetamol...
woke up in the middle of the night, suffer..
paracetamol again..
skipped class...
byebyefever...
fever went off after 3 days..
headache for a few more days...
byebyefever again...
almost a week~
sore throat finally went off..
but coughin with lots of phlegm...
oh ya.. lost my voice once...
coughin until woke up... flu~
finally decided to go to doctor after around...
9days?

*During the diagnosis, I can apply my knowledge from current lecture again..
telling a proper history, n she did a general phyical examination on me,
auscultation, palpation, sign and symptoms...*

bad sore throat at the back of throat, phlegm at my nasalpharynx, & to told me that i have sensitive nose n throat.... @@
took antibiotic (amoxicillin), flu (loratadine?) & lonzenges (difflam) given by doc..
but not any cough mixture or cough suppresant~ @@
cough until today...
phlegm turning back into colourless~
but stil coughin... super itchy throat...
havent finish my antibiotic..
always skipped the morning one as i always wake up late~
n sometimes dont even take my proper meal~ =X


sometimes...
I feel good to fall sick..
at least, ther's a reason for me to run away from something..
at least, ther's a conversation btw us...
at least, she will start worry bout me n at least giv me a call...
at least, she wil talk to me...
at least, it makes everyone forget about something n turn to me...
at least, ther's stil a connection....



I need a medical check-up...

I reali dont mind if anything happen on me, n everything back to normal...
which i use to love...
love, warm, peace... healthy....

*please....*


_____________________________________________


Last sem, microbiology~
~I got an either staph or strep infection on my hand
n someone around me got fungus infection ( which i can apply my knowledge, correctly name out the med that doc goin to prescribe her )

Next, Atherosclerosis, thrombus, embolus~
~ My dad got admitted into hospital.. & he got stroke...

Before sem 3, which i goin to read about CVS~
~ My grandma passed away coz of heart attack + Deep vein thrombosis...

& I was thkin, it woulnd't be so "scary"... since i havent start my sem on CVS..

Then, half-way studying CVS~
~ my uncle got admitted into hospital due to angina... & he nid a CABG... which i was learning...



Godddddddd~~~~

I'm praying... hope that the surgery go all well n fine... N I will apply my Cardiac Rehabilitation lecture on him....


Next week, I'm goin to start a new body system... Respiratory system.. :S
choi choi choii!!!

><






Everything will be fine~
<3





*I can't change the world, I can't change others... but I do can change myself, to a better one? or a worse one? or I shall remain the same...*

-hugs-