My Dad

I had just received a call from my dad
4.20 in the morning...
& for sure, he just indulging in some alcohol~

he started the conversation by asking me
"what is the time now"
he said that he seldom give me a call
...

he suddenly told me that
he has something that he can't tell my mum, nor my big mum, nor any of his child
but me...
I can feel that he was going to cry...
I can feel that he is really sad
When he told me what is actually happened
I can hear that he was trying hard not to cry~
I can feel that he is blaming himself
although he never told
& I can feel that he feel helpless...
& he is trying to figure out something~

All I can do is just "hm..."
I can't help too~

He talked about mum~
he said he realised that he had neglected my mum for his work..
& his children~
He said he will take more time to accompany my mum~
I am touched.. I felt like crying..
because I always feel that my mum is too lonely...
& I always cry because of that..
I never blamed him~ I know what he is doing, is all for us..
Seriously.. & I know, he feels lonely too...
I trying my best to give them my time even if I really busy
lucky thing is, after my bro found a gf, he really change a lot
He is really good now.. seriously.. especially the way he treat the family..
=) I love my bro~ although there's still something that I hope he can change

towards the end, he mention bout me...
He mention bout the letter!!!
yea.. I did wrote him a letter few months ago..
I thk was around 2 months after I broke up v my ex
That time, I was still emotionally unstable..
although I trying to hide my feeling..
I only told them one month after I broke up with the guy..
my dad was really so worry about me..
he even hug me in his arm n cry with me..
I know he cried.. He loves me really much..
but they never ask me why..
my dad even thought that I am not considerate enough for my ex..
I didnt explain much~ & they didnt ask me at all..
I know they dont wan to hurt me..
After that, I felt that I am really a bad girl if I leave them know bout nothing..
I should be responsible, I should explain everything to them..
that's why I wrote the letter..
I think 3 pages long.. & I told them, my family is still the one for me..
I loves my family a lot..

My dad said he feels really happy..
that I wrote him the letter..
(it's been so long that he didnt reply me anything bout the letter until today~)
he said he really like me the most among his children..
I know.. I can feel that.. =)
I love him a lot too.. ><

Last sunday, I was sleeping by his side..
I dreamt.. nightmare I guess..
& I was like struggling n sobbing in my dream...
he heard.. he woke up & said
"dad is here, dont scare.."
& I heard him calling my mum to look after me..
because mum is awaken..
my mum came & asked me what happen, whether I had nightmare..
I just nod my head.. & she asked me what is all about~
I shake my head & I continue to sleep...
that was really sweet...
although it is a small thing to mention...
& nightmares always there in my sleep..

This is how much I love my family..
It's true..
I can't imagine how my life will be when I go to ireland..
I will miss them like mad...
I can't live without them
& for sure, they can't live their life to the max, without me~
>< the one always make the family cheer~ XP

although these photos are really ugly~~
LOL!! but I love them...
>< ahh... my bro was not wearing his shirt, showing his fats
my dad also not wearing his shirt~ but he has no fats..
my hair was like...........
my mum was the main character! "Happy Mothers Day!"
<3









I wish...
My family members always healthy...