Sorry...

She is goin back tmr.
while studying, all the scene flashed across my mind, i feel so sad..
i am reali so sad...

During these few days,
I noe.. I noe i've been treating her badly...
I trying so hard to push back my temper on her, I trying to be good to her...
but everytime, when my words hurt her, I can see it in her eyes, only i knew, I am wrong...
I noe i'm wrong.. I noe I shouldnt hav talk so impatiently to her...
& I tried to talk better everytime after i said something harsh to her...
in a way tat hope she can feel better...
but i noe, it wouldnt be better.

I tried to make her feel happy..
At least i am trying...

I cooked her spagethi, in the late night, coz she hav been telling me tat she miss the spagethi tat i cooked..
I brought her out for dinner, coz she had been cooking throughout the days...
I gav her a lil money jz hope tat she can make good use of it...
& of course, she had been using a lot to buy groceries n vege during these few days...
I did all these, perhaps, because I feel so sorry to her...
of being so cruel... such a bad daughter of her...

somebody told me...
watever she had done, I cant change anything...
jz because she is who she is, I must treat her nicely...
jz because she is too lonely...
jz because she nid us....
jz because...
I love her.

no matter how bad she is personally...
she treat me like a tofu, I shouldnt hav treat her like a stone...


I'm wrong...
I'm sorry...

please, wait for me...
I promise i'll giv u a better life...




sorry that I dont hav the gut to tell u
"sorry..." ...

sick?

-History Taking-

Have been sick for 2 weeks...
From the very first day in the clinic kesihatan, I felt the dryness n pain in my throat...
back in lecture, felt so painful until I cant concentrate in class
went to buy lozenges n it really made me feel better..
at night, fever... took paracetamol...
woke up in the middle of the night, suffer..
paracetamol again..
skipped class...
byebyefever...
fever went off after 3 days..
headache for a few more days...
byebyefever again...
almost a week~
sore throat finally went off..
but coughin with lots of phlegm...
oh ya.. lost my voice once...
coughin until woke up... flu~
finally decided to go to doctor after around...
9days?

*During the diagnosis, I can apply my knowledge from current lecture again..
telling a proper history, n she did a general phyical examination on me,
auscultation, palpation, sign and symptoms...*

bad sore throat at the back of throat, phlegm at my nasalpharynx, & to told me that i have sensitive nose n throat.... @@
took antibiotic (amoxicillin), flu (loratadine?) & lonzenges (difflam) given by doc..
but not any cough mixture or cough suppresant~ @@
cough until today...
phlegm turning back into colourless~
but stil coughin... super itchy throat...
havent finish my antibiotic..
always skipped the morning one as i always wake up late~
n sometimes dont even take my proper meal~ =X


sometimes...
I feel good to fall sick..
at least, ther's a reason for me to run away from something..
at least, ther's a conversation btw us...
at least, she will start worry bout me n at least giv me a call...
at least, she wil talk to me...
at least, it makes everyone forget about something n turn to me...
at least, ther's stil a connection....



I need a medical check-up...

I reali dont mind if anything happen on me, n everything back to normal...
which i use to love...
love, warm, peace... healthy....

*please....*


_____________________________________________


Last sem, microbiology~
~I got an either staph or strep infection on my hand
n someone around me got fungus infection ( which i can apply my knowledge, correctly name out the med that doc goin to prescribe her )

Next, Atherosclerosis, thrombus, embolus~
~ My dad got admitted into hospital.. & he got stroke...

Before sem 3, which i goin to read about CVS~
~ My grandma passed away coz of heart attack + Deep vein thrombosis...

& I was thkin, it woulnd't be so "scary"... since i havent start my sem on CVS..

Then, half-way studying CVS~
~ my uncle got admitted into hospital due to angina... & he nid a CABG... which i was learning...



Godddddddd~~~~

I'm praying... hope that the surgery go all well n fine... N I will apply my Cardiac Rehabilitation lecture on him....


Next week, I'm goin to start a new body system... Respiratory system.. :S
choi choi choii!!!

><






Everything will be fine~
<3





*I can't change the world, I can't change others... but I do can change myself, to a better one? or a worse one? or I shall remain the same...*

-hugs-

my haven, twinkle twinkle little star...

I won't be here, until the sadest moment...

yea.. I'm reali sad... I'm reali frustrated
but nothing at all I can do...

Crapping

ah.. it's midnight 3.45am..
& I'm still here..

suddenly feel like.. I am scare.
yea.. I'm scare.. I don't reali noe y..
things come... & things go..
watever it brings to us.. we hav to accept it..
no matter it's good or bad~

recalling back the things that happened on me in these few years,
I realised.. ther's always a big change in my life..

previous year in 2009, something just pop out in my naive 19 n forced me to turn into a tough gal.. from tat on, i knew.. I am no longer a kids.. tat i can run away from my responsible as part of the family..

back in 2010, yeah.. my dream broken & i've got to start all over again..
not reali like all over again.. i jz blaming..
it's good thing for me to stay...

dis year,2011... somethings gonna change my life.. perhaps..
my dad got stroke attacked...
it's a light stroke..
but... things.... jz go out of shape...
war is jz going to start...
wat's gonna happen to me?
every step is so scary to me...
but nothing i can do to help..
i reali cant do anything other than keep studying for my exam...
else i wil lose everything..

sometimes, i jz do ntg like now..
blank...
"dont being so lazy n blame on the things happened make u stop studying
u r jz too lazy!"
I reali dont noe whether I am acting lazy or distracted by stuff...
n i reali dnt thk tat i am distracted by those stuff...
N i dont tell anyone coz I dont wan anyone of u to feel tat..
"u r so pitiful.. " the truth is.. I am not pitiful jz because I am not pitiful..
i am jz being lazy badass n finding all theseee excuses so tat i can stop studying for a little while n mayb longer than a little while... ><

someone said.. I dont look stressful at all..
everyday lazy to wake up to attend the sem 1 classes..
studying v a slow slow slow pace...
enjoy my day.....
sleep for8 or even 9 hours a day....
eat like i'm gonna explode my stomach...
watch drama....
taking my own sweet time cooking at the kitchen for at least 3 hours..
skype v my babie everyday...
...
am i gonna fail my exam???????


NO.. I will never failed my exam...
I promise... at least,I'm trying my best...

:)


study? or sleep?
mayb i reali sleep too much.. ><

自我中心，是我...

是我可怜吗？
不...

是我...
自我中心太强...

才发现
不管害怕还是伤心
人，都会把双手压在胸前...
自我保护。


我也不过如此。


与普通人一样...
我
或许更自私。

:(

她看看我的手掌
说道:"你很多烦恼吗？"
...

是啊,我有很多烦恼的...

才说到...
我的烦恼又来了~

昨天刚回到KL
今天早上，不管自己多累
我都告诉自己
:"新的学期了,要努力点"
就揉揉眼睛,爬起床了...

虽然课很费一下~
自己又打瞌睡了一下
但至少我在班上...
我真的要努力的...

下午回家前
去了一位阿姨家...
她是妈妈的朋友
她老公突然在两个月前去世了...
我去帮妈妈给红包还有,白金...
我也很怕不懂怎样说话~
但说了说,也有一个小时多~

回到家,broadband不能用
我突然真的很伤心~
也哭了一下~ @@
也没什么好哭的是吧？:)
我就是想哭~

等到多一下下~
烦恼就来了...
什么事情,都在我们背后蔓延...

我不懂怎么说
就是有事情...
我该怎么做
我真的不懂...

我真的很伤心...
但我也不懂我能做什么
要发生的,迟早也会发生...

我真的希望不会有事...
不然,我书都没得读吧...

为什么要欺骗我...
为什么要这样下去
明知故犯
我可以怎么做...
我很辛苦...
我很累...
可以醒了没有！！
我真的很怕！！
我真的很怕...

:( ....

我还有很多功课...
不写了~




:(

♥

我发现
我喜欢站在人群外，
看着我最爱的家人，亲人，或朋友门开心的畅谈或玩耍...

我深深感到很感动...

我不在意是否我参与其中
听见他们的笑声
我满足了...

那是另一种快乐~

♥

1,
在沙滩上，
我家人与朋友围在一起烧烤~
有说有笑...
我一个人坐在远方
静静的欣赏他们的快乐...

2,
新年在外婆家，
亲朋戚友在客厅里~
有说有笑...
我陪着外婆在饭厅吃面
看着他们
我，有感动~ :)

等等...


我们不一定要参与其中才可以感到快乐及感动
你也可以祝福你身边的他们拥有快乐...



:)

朋友门，新的一年
要快乐哦！


我，真的很爱你们...


♥

I miss him.. ♥

Yea, he went back to his studyland,Florida already..
I miss him a lot~

That day, on 7th jan..
the last day he staying in malaysia...
I accompany him went around & rushed for everyhing that need to be done..
His medicine, pray, laptop, jeans...
& lastly.. He insisted wanna develop some photos out so that he can stick on his bedroom wall.. I feel so touch. Really.

Before depart to airport.. I spend a little time with him in his room..
I looked at him.. & my eyes started to fill with tears..
& I immediately look away.. telling him..
:" I cannot look at you, I will cry..."
n the tears slowly drip inside through my nose into my throat..
He was ready to go out..
& he hugged me..
In his arms.. I feel really so sad for his leaving..
Finally my tears dropped n I cried a little..
I told myself no.. I cant cry...
He wippend my tears away with his hand & hugged m again..
& I need to take a deep breath n wipped away my tears..
telling myself.. I cannot cry..

After that, we departed first to airport.. which his family wil come later..
He holding me all the way..
He checked in & we waited for his family at MCD..
& we started to take photo for memory..
He took with his family first~ & I was the last one..

Finally, boarding time...
we took all his stuff & stand outside the gate..
All our attention on him.. & also on me~
They expect me to cry..
but all the way.. I keep my tears inside myself..
finally.. he hugged me again..
Unfortunately, I wasn't ready for his hug.. & I didnt manage to hug him back..
Everyone looking at me.. & I was shy to cry..
I was hiding so hard... So hard so hard..
telling myself don't cry..
when he ready to walk in.. I had a strong feeling that wanna pull him back to me..
But I didnt do so.. I know, he still have to go..
The next moment.. I saw his mum crying.. & tears started to fill my eyes again..
inside myself.. I keep shouted for him to come back...
Looking at him at security point.. My heart broken..
I wanted to cry so much... so much so much so much...
but I don't wan his family to see me cry...
At the moment.. I don't know what else I can do..
I know.. I missed him..

His sister & mum later fetched me home..
All the way.. It was traffic jam..
The moment I reached home.. He had just landed on KL..
We talked & we cried...
He complaining that I didnt hug him back & cry just now...
& I was really so regret.. because I know, I wouldnt have the chance for the next 6 months again...
I cried so sadly.. I missed him... I MISSED HIM!

He landed on Japan on midnight 6am+..
He called me.. & I was so happy to receive his call..
He told me that his cousin was coming to him..
& he said he will call me before his next flight in the afternoon..
All the while.. I waited for him..
When I woke up, I saw his post on FB, & I missed him again..

In the afternoon, I received his call using his cousin's phone..
Very soon, he hang up the phone & flew to Las Vagas..
I waited for him until midnight~
All the while.. I don't know how many text I had sent him..
Finally, He texted me using his US number~!
& he told me~ he missed his flight to Orlando..
& hav to wait for 2.5 hours for the next flight to Salt Lake transit to Orlando..
I acc him until his nex flight & went to sleep..
The next morning.. He reached Orlando at around 1pm our time..
& it was midnight over at US~
Later, his fren fetched him to supper & home..
He on9 straight after he reached home~
& we skype...

It's true that I can see how he care bout me..
He don't want me to keep waiting for him...
& all the while.. He will contact me at the very first time as he can..
He is really a good guy.. & he really treat me like a princess..
It's true.. He never disappointed me..
I really feel so happy whenever I see him on9, his face, heard his voice..
all of that comfort me a lot...

Many & many things had happen on me all the while..
Some happy.. & some too sad for me..
& I am so lucky to have him with me..
He worry about me.. He even tried his best to help me solve my problems..
Seriously.. He is really "bu pa si!"
What else I can say about him?...
He willing to involve himself in all stuff I do.. & faced all problems with me..
I know, he don't wan me to feel alone..
& he really wan me to be happy from deep inside his heart..
Thanks baobei ♥ babie...

The night before he fly back to Florida,
He gave me a very precious gift...
& he told m...
It is the promise...
He will come back to me soon...
touched ♥ I feel... :)

Now that he had gona back Florida for 4 days...
We skype everyday...
We even text a little...
He told me he dont care bout how much he spend..
He just want me to be happy...

Baobei bie...
thanks for everything that you have done for me..
I really appreciate it a lot..
Everytime, u think about all for me..
You care about everything around me..
you even asked ur mum to ask me out for lunch! (to have close relationship?)
& always talk bout me with ur mum...
I am glad of what you had told me...
baobei... I am really glad to be with you..
& I love you..
like I told you, I don't trust promise...
But for now.. Promise will be the one to keep me strong..
I will wait for you...
ok? ♥ :)

I think this post is really "geli" enough for all of our friends..
& more of these "geli" words I will continue to write for you in ur mail..
ok? ♥ ♥ ♥ ><



Babie, I miss you.. A lot.. ♥
*hugss* :)

Random~

HELLOOOO!!!!!!!!! ^^

ha~~ woke up in the morning~~ & knowing that my exam is coming soon~
nex tuesday & wednesday~
the patient interview which i had practiced oni once~! god..
i worry the simulte patient wil giv me weird weird respond leh~~
idont noe wat disease he/she having then how would i ask question n explore more~~
@@ the summative~~ i always take it easy as ther're oni 50mcq~
which i used to hav the harder n more complicated 1 in pmc~~
but i noe i shouldnt bahave like dis~~
should at least guai guai study n remember again~
ha....
okok~~ studying d.... ><

back to dis morning~
after woke up~
i quickly took a bath~ n clean the room n house~
it's too dirty la!!! i were too lazy to keep the house recently~
busy busy~ ><

n now~
i done keeping & sit in front of laptop~
ready to study...

thk bout the 50 mcq questions..
n pmc...
i reali like pmc a lot..
the lecturer...
the lecture notes...
the class...
a lot more better than imu~
mayb i am too degil~
but wat i thk is true loo...

ahh~~
nvm~~ everything is fine.. at least.. =)

hm....
someone is at langkawii now~~
poor thing~~
he keep asking me go but i didnt follow~~
n now his sis also didnt follow~
n he is there alone~~
watching tv...
awwww..... poor thing!!
hahaha!! sorry la... now i feel guilty d~
but i got a lot to study leii...
if i go~ then sure get very excited n go everywher de ma~
how to study jekk.... right?
ok la ok la~~ nex time laa~
( 1 year later? ) lol!! haha~!
><
*miss u*

ha... he is goin back to florida real soon~
within a month..
i reali hop i that i can cope v every single emotion i hav..
i dont wan to make thing worse..
i noe i always do...
i cant control my own emotion when come to this..
ahh..
perhaps cry up to 3 months~ then i wil slowly get use to it d..
>< right?
yea...
no scare de laa...
half a year oni maa... few months oni laa
i somemre nid to study hard for my eos...
>< no prb no prb~
^^

should back to my study d...
bye guys...
i noe i long time didnt blog d...
sorry laa~~ ^^
i miss u guys too~~
especially my biaoge~ ^^
hope he doing well ther..
& remember i never forgot bout u!! =)
baobei biaoge leiiiiiii?!! hahaha!

hav a nice day guys~! <3



baobei wen. =)

=(

I love you...

It's My 20th Birthday~!!!

This post,
I dedicated to the sweetest guy in the world that I've met
--- Daniel-The-Babie♥
You make my day.

Laughter.Sadness.Tears.Touched.Happy.Surprise.Embarrass.Amuse.
Friendship.Love.Care.Cheat.Lie.Hide.Prank.Stupid.Silly.Hardwork.Plan....
Lots & lots.......
I don't know how's he made it~
& how stupid I am! ><

On the 4th Sept,

He promised me celebrate my birthday earlier just for both of us spending the time together, since piaopiao is coming over on sunday.
But 2 days before, he suddenly felt so frustrated and keep appologize to me cause he said that his boss need him in shifting the stuff to the new KLIA office during the weekend, but only the afternoon.
He saying that it's fine because we're celebrating at night but I need to stay home alone during the day.
Although I felt weird, but I have been brain washed for the whole month that the Subang office is shifting to KLIA soon.
As planned, he went off to "work" around 2 in the afternoon & I waiting for him at home. ><
He came back around 7pm & I keep asking him why. He said he went to KLIA twice and there're a lot of things to be shifted.

We went out around 8pm.
Of course he requested me to dress nicely since it's my birthday celebration.
^^
He kept it a secret where he wanted to bring me.
It's a rainy day & we're late.
He called & delay his booking to 830pm.
Finally, we reached at around 845pm.
Tamarind Hills - Contemporary Thai & Burmese Cuisine.
The place is really so pretty & we need to walk up a few staircase up to the restaurant since it's a small hill.
Along the staircase, there were a lots of candles lighted and tanglung.
It's so beautiful!
& the first thing came into my mind was --- This gonna be expensive!

Now recalling back the moment,
I feel like so great and awesome! *hungry*

there was a lady standing outside & welcoming us with 2 little ginger drinks.
Another guy brought us to our table --- he is really a good waiter.
Both of us looked at the menu & I looked at the price.
"Waaaa bie...So exp...><"
"Don't look at the price laa.. Today is your birthday!! It's important that you're happy de shi ma.."
Babie, you're lovely but you shouldnt spend so much on me! ><
A while later, the waiter came in & recommended us their course meal~
After ordered, we started to take some photo~






-Daniel-The-Babie-♥


-The first starter- ♥


-Is just plain water~ >< -


- Our 2nd starter - ♥


- acting cute huh?? >< - ♥


- The drinks - not really special


- The Awesome Tomyam!! ♥♥♥ -


- it's really a nice place - ♥


- ♥♥ -








- OUR MAIN COURSE!!! ♥♥♥ -


- Red Tomyam w Lobster - ♥


- Brocolli w Oyster Sc - ♥


- Lamb Loin w Green Curry - ♥ AWESOME!


- The Big Boss of the day... >< - ♥


- yum yum~~ >< -


- cutting for me~ ^^ - ♥


- what face is that huh? >< xiao xin -








- My AWESOME ice cream dessert!!!!! >< - ♥♥♥


- but the price are @@!!! -








- It's a beautiful place ♥ -



While we were enjoying our dinner, he keep telling me tat we hav to leave the restaurant at 1030pm & go to the next place~ ....
I were surprise that we were heading somewhere else other than this~
but we only manage to finish up our dinner around 11pm~
then we rushing to the next place~



- the jazz performance -




No Black Tie - a Bar or jazz club
We reached there around 1130pm.
I were surprise that he actually brought me to the jazz performance!!
I always told him that I kind of like jazz bar~ & now, he really make it for me.
Although that was not what we really like~ cause it was too formal... We prefer something like band singing jazz song & everyone is relaxing~
But it still nice though~ I enjoy it very much too! ><

Kekemm.... you know what I going to tell the next....
><
When the performers having the half time break~
he went out to make a phone call~
The pianist came in and speak some weird english that I hardly understand BUT!
I did recognised my name!!!! & he started to play a birthday song for me~ & of course everyone claps and started to sing a birthday song to me! >< awwwwww~~~
I were like... OMG... Where's "THE GUY" that put me in this condition~
super duper *SHY* hahahahaha!!!!
He then came in with a bouquet of pink & red rose & a waiter with a hagendazz Ice cream cake~ >< So dramatic wehh~~~ of course so touched!! ><
Ohhh!!! ther's a present too!! >< I guess I shouldn't mention the present here~~ he was just too cute!!! silly babie~~ & he told me..
"This will be your first present..."
"First??....><"



*shy* ><


After that, we tried our best to finish the cake~
as I mention, is an ice cream cake~ It started to melt when I first saw it holding on the waiter hand~ It's my favourite flavour!! He actually remember everything I mention including this... but now i forgot the name d... ><
after we finished the ice cream cake~ we quick quick ran away from the "formal-jazz-performance" d~~ although they were still preforming~~ *shy*

In the car, I open my so called first-present...
"I think you will scream after you see it..."
The next moment~
"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!................." ><
Kekemm.... anyway~ I still love the present very very much~~ ^^ hahaha!!
Thanks a lot!! XD

After that, he sent me home d~
& that's the end of my first birthday celebration! ♥

I guess I need to write bout my 5th sept birthday celebration in another post d~
><
Too many photos... ^^


with love. ♥

My Awesome 20th Birthday!!!

I will blog about it soon!!
Coz it's too awesome for me~~~


*coming soon*

^^

Life In KL~

ahh haa~~!!
finally...
I COMING BACK TO MY LOVELY BLOG~!!!
huh......

In the middle of the night...
Having hiccup~~ (!@#$%^&)
here I blogging~~~~
@@!!

YESS!!!
After around 5 weeks in KL~
I am back in BM!!
yea!! BUKIT MERTAJAM!! hahaha~~
no more KL~~
Laksa, hokkien mee, curry mee, zhu chiong fan, etc etc...
Well,
even though kl dont hav such great food,
I getting fatter tooo!!! =.=
thanks to someone keep feeding me v all kind of food there~

I WAN KEEP FIT!!!
I WAN TO DO MORE EXERCISE!!
I WAN TO.... wat to do somemore?
hahaah!!
I WAN TO GO BACK TO MY NORMAL LIFE~~
why am I so packed with stuff?
why couldnt just let me sit down & take my own sweet time in front of laptop?
or dis is a normal life?
my last holiday was just too relax & free~~ right? ><
I am so occupied!!
occupied by uni stuff~
occupied by group stuff~
occupied by cooking stuff~
occupied by cleaning stuff~
occupied by frens stuff~
& occupied by daniel ong~~~ @@ LOL!!
bring me here & there~~ ><
I am so sorry to neglect my blog~
& even my fb~
I am reali too busy with my life in KL~
I still nid some time to settle down...
sorry frenssss......
forgiv me~
I will come back to u all soon!!

Although every morning my class starts from 8am to around 10+~
but the group thingy always end around afternoon~
after back home~ i nid to clean up the house..
& perhaps cook? LOL!! ^^ (it's true)
at night~
mostly goin out to buy stuff or dinner v daniel-the-babie~
& sometimes with my cousin too~
both of them always making fun v my cooking skills!! (!@#$%^&)
><

a day is too short for me...
like i am so occupied with thingsss....
I guess i wil be getting busier? or easier?
homework wil be increasing over the weeks?
Or i getting myself settle down?

basically,
all the stuff in sem1...
I have been keep repeating for the 4 times i guess~
or at least the 2nd time?
all the enzyme, protein, cells...
Nevermind,
I will have my strong base~ ^^

everyday,
the thing i hate the most is wearing heels to sch~
parking my car at the hill top car park~
walking down around 50 staircase~
crossed the road to uni...
walked in uni..
using escalator to go up 3rd floor~
& walk up another staircase to 4th floor~
& walk to auditorium~
& walk up a few more staircase to grab a seat~
..... ugghhhhh!!!
can u imagine tat??
after class~ nid walk up the 50 staircase to reach hill top car park!!
H.A.P.P.Y of course~ (!@#$%^&*)
I did actually curi curi wear my sandals to sch~
but ended up i felt very sorry to everyone...
hahaha!!
but i guess~ I will be doing tat quite frequently ba~~
>i dont wan blister again!!
tat's reali killing my legs!!
@@~

well,
IMU~
it's not a bad uni baa...
It's good..
I know~
since I choose to come into it~
I wil try my best to enjoy my life here~
dont worry~
I will still study hard~
& play hard.. =)


& for all my frens in ireland~
All the Best~
play hard for me ^^

p/s: suddenly, I realised tat I dreammed bout PMC last night.. I dream tat suddenly, I got back my chance to go to ireland... & in the dream, I am so depressed.. whether to stay in imu, or grab my chance, go to ireland... Well, perhaps... the answer is not significant anymore.. although when i woke up.. once i thought it was real.. =)


X.O.X.O
*love*
=)

Here I COME!! ^^

Here's come my post~
PLS WAIT PATIENTLY & WATCH IT AFTER IT FINISHED LOADING~
K??????? P.L.E.A.S.E!! ><
& if possible~
Put on ur earphone..
& dont let anything else distract u~
^^

Sorry to bb biaoge, ruyunn & john~~
I lazy to write whole page of words....
so I made this video~
I hope it won't disappoint you all~~

actually I got another video~
that video is around 12mins..
luckily I did this 1st instead of that longer 1~
or else... really dont noe how to let u all see....
hahahah!!!
never thought bout the prb to upload it when i start to do it~
><


All I want to say is...
Our KVJK trip was really awesome to me!!!!
& I miss u all a lot a lot a lot!!! ><

My busy days are going to start soon~~
u all must wait me settle down first yea~
then I will tell u all bout my life in KL!
><



Well, dont forget to miss me leiii....
k?

*hugss*



bb biaoge leiiiii???
ruyunn leiii???
he yu huiiiiii leiiii??!!!
^^


bao bei zai ze li leiiiii~~~!!! =)

付出的，不一定有回报

谁说付出的，一定会有回报？

其实
有时候当别人提起
外国的世界有多漂亮
外国的人有多不一样
或是
外国的读书生活有多闷
外国的人有多不好
我还是会想起
我曾经错过的机会
-爱尔兰。

其实
为什么我那么想到外国读书呢
太多太多的理由我也不想再提起了
不管是好的 还是坏的
其实我都不介意
我想出国就是想让自己更强
更独立...
再恶劣的环境我都可以生存
真的...
那只会是个美丽的经验
漂亮的经验
属于我的经验。

其实
只是突然间的感慨
我已经接受了事实
我懂留在马来西亚是最好的安排
不管对我 还是对我的家人
真的 我接受了...
只是
有时候突然间想起
还是会觉得
心 是刺痛的...

我真的很努力
非常的努力
努力考好
给我考到最好的成绩
又怎样？
我还是要从头开始...
虽然我懂
我的经验 比别人多~
但我花的时间 也比别人多
或者是
老天爷要把我的底子打好
要让我变更好？

其实
再多的冤枉路
回头想想
这一路上我都交了很多朋友
这些朋友就是唯一让我觉得
还蛮值得的嘛~
如果我没呆在槟城
我也不会跟peinee&piaopiao那么好了
还有sheri&shuying~
of course my classmate&pmc seniors~
not to forget my lovely lecturers
dr. annie, dr. chong &　dr. loo!!
其实
还真是要感谢这些冤枉路
我真的很珍惜我的朋友们~
还有王敏俊咯~ XP

说着说着
其实
一样事情 不管是好 还是坏
把它看深一层
不然就一一分析出来
看！
也没什么大不了的是吗~
还有很多好处leii！
><

(真糟糕，好像自己跟自己打架 =.=)

哈哈哈哈哈哈！
惨咯~~~~~~~

肯定是被表哥们影响到~
><


好吧~
没事luuu！！！
^^







=)

未来?

以后的事，有谁懂？

没有东西是一定的~
谁敢说我以后一定会在IMU毕业？
谁说我以后一定会是个医生？
谁说我以后一定会是呆在马来西亚？
谁说我以后还是会有那么多朋友？
谁说我以后一定是会跟他在一起？
谁说我以后一定会嫁人？
谁说我以后一定....

失败过不代表一直都会失败
成功不代表一直都会成功
失败过如果不去尝试就不可能会成功啊
难道要我怕了，以后都不去尝试？

未来未来...
未来就是个未知数~
我也是要尝试过,才会懂什么东西才是最适合我的...
但我这也不是随便
只是在给自己，给别人一个机会...

我懂，
我真的懂大人们都在顾虑些什么~
别人怎样想，我也管不了...
我是个女生吧~
我知道是我不对
我也希望可以不必一直寻找
可以就有那么一个
付出的，不会白费
又要从新开始...
很开心吗？

其实我也很怕啊...
一次又一次的失败
一次又一次的哭泣
很害怕的leii...

幸亏家人只知道我有那么一个ex~
不然更糟糕leii.... ><
把我关在家不让我出门？
还是抓我去相亲？
你们选一个给我咯~
XD

好啦~
只是突然很烦...
不要烦我leii...
不让人知道就不让人知道咯...
谁叫我那么笨蛋！
从以前笨到现在~
不能变聪明了的啦~~~~~
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！

只能对不起你了~
委屈你啦~
笨蛋王敏俊~
你要回来咯...
但我要去KL咯~~~
一切听天由命吧！
是你的就是你的~
不是你的在怎么抓紧，还是会飞走的leii...
是你的，放手都不会飞走的leii！！
^^

*muacksss!!!*


豆豆越长越多~
谁敢敢说我以后还是会美美的？
只有宝贝表哥咯！！

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！
*hugss*





不烦不烦！！
没有怕的啦~
XD

我很想你们！

宝贝表哥，茹云，煜火军 （找不到你的名）
...
我很想念你们leii....
怎么办~

你们懂吗
每一天 我对着那些照片
一天一天 一张一张 的回忆
虽然
一边看着 一边笑着
但我心里其实很伤心
也不可以说伤心吧
因为 那些都是很美好的回忆
那些都是很开心的日子
...
不过...
我还是很伤心leii...

没想到日子那么快过去
之前的我 还在决定该不该去
现在的我 已经回来了~

把眼睛闭上
“表妹！！...."
仿佛听到表哥的声音~
把眼睛张开
只有电脑...

宝贝表哥，怎么你在电脑的另一边...
谁倒温水给表妹喝
谁弄蜜糖水给表妹喝
...
谁弄盐水给我喝
....
谁怕我会冷到...

还有茹云和阿辉~
把我简直当表妹！
任何事都
“没有怕的啦...”
因为任何事都会解决！
因为我有你们啊！
什么事都不用我做~
....

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊.......
T.T

没想到短短的日子里
我们的感情会如此的好~
让我在机场哭到像个小孩子...
"...我可以哭吗？..."
能叫我不哭吗？
...


十二天 说长不长 说短不短~
足以让我记得一辈子...


我很想念你们啊！！
赶快回来！！
宝贝表妹很可怜leii.......
没有你们照顾是会变瘦瘦的是吗？！
瘦瘦的表妹那里可爱的是吗？！
><




*hugs*
take care always... =)

♥

It's been a month~

><






♥ you~
Always..
U noe I mean it.




*wen^bie*

Back In Malaysia!

430pm..
I am currently in coffee bean alone~

Yea,
I just reached coffee bean~
with my coffee vanilla, ice blended...
I know I shouldnt be here at this time this moment...
since I need to go home at dinner time~
It is quite far from my house...
but...
today...
I need to come here...
I need to get myself sometime
to relax...
to escape?
to make myself feel a little bit more....
myself?... =)

I am fine...
no worries k?

To be frank,
I really feel so depress..
I really feel so sad..
I really feel like....
"when am I goin to emotional breakdown again?"

after back from aus trip...
I feel worry..
I feel down...
Well, of course not when my dear is with me..

The aus trip really like a sort of fairy tales? or haven for me to escape from lots of responsibility and problems..
In aus, I don't need to worry about anything..
ANYTHING!
with lots of fun & lots of cares from my dearest cousinss...

aikss...
Back in reality...
Face the truth~

back in malaysia,
the 1st ever thing I need to do is...
IMU enroll procedure...
money... cert... decision...

Today, I just went to bank & settled the tuition fees...
lots of money...
Cash...
I count the cash, I see the cash...
not a brand new notes..
but old used notes...
I can see how hard my dad earned these money..
I counted , my heart hurt double~

but dis is not why I feel so sad today...
><

Last night...
While I sleeping~
my phone rang...
is dad~
"for sure he drank... for sure I wil be sad soon.."
yea I knew tat when I saw tat he is calling me...
I didnt feel hate..
I jz feel tat he is goin to tell me his prb..
I should be happy bout tat..
because he choose to call me..
he loves me... he trust me..
but why... wat is in his mind...
wont feels tat dis is jz a little bit cruel to me?

yea... he told me his prb...
he told me his feeling...
he appologize to me..
he said he knows...
he knows tat I wish to go oversea..
but he said.. his choice that wana put me by his side all the while...
he wan me to acc him..
he wan me to acc the family..
perhaps, he is ready for the worst to come...
this will be the time that i need to bear the responsibility...
i cant jz go to oversea & leave my family behind..
yea... is true... I accepted tat...

other than this..
he told me...
something...
that wil seriously make me depress...
how could a father..
told his daughter that he feels like dying...
he dont feel happy at all..
he never felt happiness anymore...
he just feel like dying...
he wan to die...
he reali wish to die...
.........................
I really dont noe how to explain wat he told me...
I really dont noe how to respond to his words...
I really dont noe wat should I do...
dis is not the 1st time tat he told me he is not happy at all..
I know.. I really know...
but I cant help...
after hang up the phone~
I cringe in pain..
tears flowing...
until I fell asleep...~

recently, he told me tat he felt heart pain...
so painful so painful that he dont noe wat to do...
I asked him to go for a body check up...
he said he will...
but I dont noe whether he is going onot..
I just called him up~
wanna remind him to go for a medical check up
but he didnt pick up the phone~
...~~~~
will rush him for a medical check up soon~

_________________________________________________________


Dear frens...
I know you might feel tat I very pity...
but dont..
pls..
the purpose I having a blog is to let me feeling out...
so that I can feel a little bit more relax...
but not all keep inside myself~
I seldom blog something happy~
but something sad...
I am sorry yea...
^^

dont come to visit my blog if u feel sad...
haha! i dont wan you to sad for me...
coz I know..
I know my story is always hurtful...
^^

but no scare de laa!!
I can always face these all problems~
I can always get through them with a sweeeet smile =)
k? I promise...

by the way,
babie,
I hope you won't read this blog until u come back from taiwan..
cause I know, I will put you into bad mood...
no matter how my mood goes, i know urs wil follow~
never feel guilty to me k?
I can face all this on my own,
I just nid you to enjoy ur trip to the max..
not worry bout me! ><
plssss.......
*hugs* ><
i miss u a lot! =)
waiting for u to come back yea! ^^

well, to my lovely baobei biaoge, ruyun & john~
thanks for giving me lots of cares & fun during my aus trip k?
I love you all very much!!!!!!!!!!
miss you all a lot a lot~
& those sweeeet dayss....
i will always keep them in my mind~
no scare de la!
we will meet soon~!!! XD
*hugs*

&...
my darnie....
you are always there for me...
thanks a lot!
seriously...
you comfort me...
you listen to me~
even you are in KL all the time~
^^ *hugs*

& peinee!!!!!
miss u a lot nia~~
hahahaha!!
dont cry after you see dis blog leiii!!
silly~~~ ><

I will blog bout my aus trip soon~
I hope I can hav so much time to blog it...
coz it's a lot!!
hahaha!!





TATA!









*hugs* for myself~ =)




no worry to all my babies frens...
I will always love myself...
^^
*muacksxx*

Babie Daniel~

Baobei bie~
I love you...
*hugs*

bie,
I am sorry if I made you sad or jealous k?
I know that you are jealous...
not much though~
but I noe... XD
I noe that you won't really get angry at me~
because I can really feel that you love me a lot.
*silly*
or I am too lovely?! XD hahahaa!!
><


Babie, I love you too!!
just because that you treat me so great, so awesome!
that I feel that I am actually awesome!
I think I never felt that way before~
perhaps they thought that I simply don't deserve their love.
*hugs*

Baobei,
don't you think that I can und you?
or
you think that I can't read your mind? ><
you never told me single thing bout your problem
you never let me worry about you~
I know, I know that you don't want me to worry about you since I got lots more problem waiting for me to solve. right?
but this is not the case~
I can always be there for you whenever you need me
I can always share your problem and face it with you
well, although I might not make things better. ^^
BUT I can always CHEER you up!!! (you know I can) XP
*sayang*

another thing is~
I always love my frens a lot~
you know that, dont you?
thanks for your understanding~
I deeply appreciate it a lot! *muacksxx!!*
but dont worry,
you are important too~ ^^
I know where the border line is~ *wink*



8.00pm
you are currently in Taiwan~
perhaps eating~ XD

What I wanna tell you is~~~~~~
Babie!!
you worry me too much!!!
I am not that weak k? LOL!!
I can always face problem myself~
don't always think that you have the responsibility to help me in everything and be by my side all the time leiii....
although I know that I am lovely & irresistable!! LOL!!!
>< >< >< XDDDD hahahaha!!! *bluek!*

bie, I hope you can enjoy your trip to the max!
just put me aside~ I won't mind la... ><
even if you wana see those pretty leng luiiiii there~
see lor~ *as if you dare~* LOL!!!
dont forget to take phone number from them too!!
ahahahahaha!!! hmph~~~ ><




So~~~ Conclusion!!

Dont worry bie~~~

I won't stop bullying you!! muahahahaha!!! ^^

no scare de laaaa~~~~~ ><











*love*